Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
How do you do Kasab?
The characters in this blog are absolutely fictious and bear no resemblence to any living or about to be born being, or any dead or about to die being.
How do you do Kasab?
The Home Minister enters the premises of the jail where Ajmal Kasab, one of the terrorists involved in the 26/11 Mumbai terror attacks. is comfortably relaxing in his cell and surfing the channels on TV. The Home Minister reaches the terrorist's cell.
(An imaginary conversation between the Home Minister and Ajmal Kasab)
H M : Namaskaar...
A K : Nama.....
H M : Let it be. I will greet you in your language. Salaam vaal e kum.
A K ; Vaal e kum salaam. Nice to see you again.
H M : One has to look after one's guests. I hope everything is fine with you.
A K : Everything is not fine with me at all.
H M : Why ? What happened?
A K : These people here wake me up so early in the morning whereas I am used to getting up very late in the afternoon.
H M : Please do not worry. I shall issue instructions to not to wake you till you are not awake yourself.
A K : Thank you. And secondly something is wrong with the AC . The cooling is not very effective. And you know it is so hot in this cell.
H M : I can imagine how hot it must be in here without an AC. I'll arrange for a mechanic today itself.
A K : Secondly, these people do not provide me with the newspapers daily. I am very keen to know about my present and future in this country. And I also want to scan the Situations Vacant columns to see if any jobs are available for a gunman.
H M : I 'll issue the instructions today itself that you get to read all the newpapers printed in our country.
A K : Not only this country, but I would also like to read the newspapers from my country, my motherland.
H M : I will arrange for it today itself so that from tomorrow the newspapers from your country are flown in every morning. Anything else?
A K : The geyser installed here is giving out cold water and I have an allergy to cold water. Please do get it repaired today itself. I have not taken a bath for so many days.
H M : That will be done also.
A K ; And yesterday the mutton dish served to me contained mutton which was not only tasteless but also very hard to chew.
H M ; I will get the cook dismissed immediately and get a new cook for you.
A K : It will be great if you import a cook from my country.
H M : Don't worry, he will be here tomorrow morning.
A M : Somebody told me that fabulous non veg dishes are available on Mohammed Ali Road
H M : Yes, its right.
A K ; I would like to taste some dishes.
H M : I shall get the home delivered over here in no time. Anything else?
A K ; This cell is very cramped and stuffy. I want a cell which is as large as that station...Shivaji..or something..
H M : Chattrapati Shivaji Terminus.
A K ; Yes the same terminus where my gun went off..
H M ; Your gun went off ? You mean to say that you did not pull the trigger?
A K ; No, somebody from my country pulled the trigger using a remote control.
H M : But this fact was never presented in the court.
A K: I had told this to my defence lawyer but perhaps he forgot because apparently he had been invited to theBigg Boss House by some TV Channel. And this is the very reason that I have been sentenced to death.
H M : Do not worry about the death sentence. A terrorist allegedly from your country had attacked pur Parliament...
A K ; He attacked your Parliament?
H M : Yes.
A K : What guts! What punishment did he get?
H M : Same as you..death sentence.....but he is still alive and his mercy petition is lying in the long line of similar petitions. And you can always appeal to the higher court if you are not happy with the judgement of a lower court just have you done now. And this process will take another 7 to 8 years and the mercy petition will take another couple of years. Till then be our guest and enjoy our hospitality.
A K : Speaking from my heart, about the attack on 26 / 11.. I am..(he was about to say that ‘I could not believe I could do it, but I am happy I was able to pull if off.. and I did it…’. But the HM thought that he was going to say,’ I am very sorry for it. . ‘and hence he cut him midway)
H M ; Please don’t be apologetic about it. Such small incidents happen in major cities. To say it in Hinda, “Bade bade shaharon me aisi chhoti chhoti baatein hoti rehti hain..” Forget the incident like a film scene.
A K : Coming to films, Somebody also told me that recently released film Dambag is a super hit.
H M : It is not Dambag but Dabbang.
A K : What does that mean?
H M : Actually we also didn't know that this word existed, but after the release of the film it is practically on everyone's tongue. Dabbang means fearless, brave.
A K : Am I fearless, brave ?
H M : Yes you are, in your own way.
A K : I would like to see that film. Every day, I dance to the tune of its song Munni Badnaam hui darling tereliye. I sing it as Ajmal badnaam hua ae vatan tere liye.
H M : ( has a hearty laugh)
A K : I would like to see that film.
H M : I will arrange for the print by today evening.
A K : It would be great if Munnni of that song comes here and give me company when the film is screened.
H M : She is very busy these days. She is rehearsing for numerous live shows to be held at five star hotels on the 31st Dec.
A K : I wish I could go and watch her dancing live.
H M : That can be... (just then his mobile rings and after finishing his conversation on the mobile he takes leave of Kasab) I have to leave now for some urgent work, and before that I have also to meet Abu Salem to enquire about his health. You have my cell number, call me from your mobile in case of any problem.
A K : Thank you, Sir... and see you soon.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
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